Electrocardiogram – This is what we tend to do to most patients these days.  It allows us to take a “snap shot” of the heart to see what is happening.  Very useful for diagnosing heart conditions such as MI’s (heart attacks).  It is done by placing several sticky lead placements across the patient’s chest and on limbs and obtaining a trace via our Lifepak machine.  People with very hairy chests tend to get presented with the razor!

For those of you who don’t know what crowning is – or have an inbuilt denial button that gets pressed in your brain when certain baby words like this are uttered – crowning is quite simply when the baby’s head starts to protrude from the mother’s vagina . . . nice.

Objective Structured Clinical Examination – This is a practical exam based around the topics that have been learnt.  OSCEs in the paramenace world will cover all primary and secondary surveys, basic and advanced life support, trauma, paediatrics and many more.  It is customary to “verbalise” your actions during an OSCE!

purple + – This is the term used medically for a patient that is dead – and has been a while.  To a point of obviously dead.  The more “+” marks you add, the more “obvious” they are dead.

Bilateral thoracostomies are where an incision into the chest wall either side of the patient is made to gain access to the lungs therein.  Usually done as a ‘prophylactic’ treatment of a tension pneumothorax or a haemothorax  Best performed under clean hospital conditions but done “on the road” in emergencies when the patient has suffered a traumatic cardiac arrest.  This is the time when a doctor to “loses” their keys.

ROSC (Return of Spontaneous Circulation) – This is the term used when a patient who has been in cardiac arrest suddenly has their heart start beating again . . . and we can all stop and take a quick rest! Before getting the patient ready to go to hospital.