I can’t stop once I’ve started

Our Ambulance Station sits next to a night club . . . of sorts.

So, this poses certain annoyances when going to and fro from our station – ie, there is always some drunken “Shoreditch Trendy” staggering about the road wearing stupid coloured skin-tight jeans hanging off his or her arse crack and sporting over sized thick cut glasses – but without any glass!! Continue reading

Any chest pain?

A while back in my second year we got called to a 60 year old gentleman whom his family said was convinced he was going to die.  Now, we really didn’t know what to expect on this one but on arrival we could hear quite a commotion from within the house and were able to tell a lot of folk were very upset.

Walking to the front door we were quickly ushered through to the excitement where the sight that greeted us made both our jaws drop . . . Continue reading

You think this is a cardiac problem?

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  So, having lots of knowledge can only make things worse I guess.

We were called out to a 27 year old man complaining of chest pain.  Now, unless there are underlying congenital or genetic causes you can prepare yourself to dismiss these cases as anything else other than a heart attack.

On our arrival the front door was ajar so, I pushed it slowly open to reveal a narrow corridor leading to the living room ahead.

Continue reading

I should just keep looking forward . . .

I’m riding my bike a bit more now and you soon forget how hated you generally are on the road for doing so.

To reduce the chances of a) pissing off car drivers and b) getting myself killed I wear all the appropriate attire and use twice the amount of lights.  I even use my high visibility jacket as a rucksack cover as it’s reflection properties are awesome.  And on top of that I always stop at lights and generally (I believe) don’t ride like a dick.

One thing I guess I’ve still to learn is not to poke my nose into other peoples’ business . . . Continue reading

A vain attempt to get laid

Now, when you’re going on a first date you understandably want to look your best; clean, well presented clothes, good hair cut, nice smelling eau-de-toilette . . . and perhaps trimming the pubic hair on your testicles with a pair of scissors!

That’s what our next job came down as; ‘scrotum cut with scissors – Red 2’.  The full story was explained later of course, but the gist of it was he was “preparing” himself for a first date.

I’m not sure how to think about this one . . . even now.   Continue reading

I’d rather be punched in the face

It’s not a hidden fact that Emergency Services personnel get assaulted often.  Some older crews would have you believe it’s an acceptable part of the job.

Most of the time you do just put up with things, letting your eyes glaze over as some delightful individual slates your abilities to perform as a worthy human being as well as a medic.  And as threatening behaviour eventually turns to violence you can’t help but think what great job satisfaction you’re getting from choosing a profession designed primarily to help others. Continue reading