‘Twas the night before Christmas . . .

This is from a good friend of mine who works as a paramenace way down in the South West . . . a guest blog/poem if you like.  Binder

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the night,
The sirens they sounded, “it’s a twat in plight”!
They jumped off the bridges, they puked in the truck,
They swore and they dribbled and who gave a . . . Continue reading

I’ll walk then

I had an observer from St John’s Ambulance with me on the car this evening.  As it turned out, what I’m about to write was about the most exciting thing that happened to us over the entire shift!

We were on our way to a Red 2, Chest Pain.  However, this was a 26 year old so instantly you doubt it’s authenticity – even when you allow for other contingencies!  Also, on the MDT it had mentioned a plethora of other things such as Chrohn’s Disease and that the patient had travelled up from Eastbourne* because of bad treatment at a hospital there.

The writing of so much info on the MDT I’m sure, is a subtle hint from Control that they are dealing with a numpty but have to follow protocols – so therefore at the very least, they are giving us a coded “heads up” of what’s coming!

“This bloke is going to be a cock”  I mentioned in passing as I initiated the blues and twos and sped off toward our job. Continue reading

Triangular Bandage

We all stared at the tiny package lying on the trolley bed.  No words were spoken, only intense concentration as if by the very thought it would open and place itself on our patient.

We stared . . . then stared some more.  I scratched my head whilst one of the crew scratched their chin.  The other went to suggest something then stopped and furrowed their eyebrows.

It was a triangular bandage . . . arguably the most complicated piece of kit on an Ambulance.

The most complicated piece of Ambulance equipement? Continue reading

Update . . .

So sorry for lapse in writing.  That dreaded mix of finding time vs inspiration to write.

Ironically I have a massive list of stories to write and need to get cracking – so please bare with it.  They are coming . . . .

First up – a nice short one . . . .


I’m not overly fond on black cabbies . . . but

I am very wary of London Black Cab drivers.

When I first moved to London for this job I remember a London black cabbie trying to run me over whilst on my bicycle.  My bike was destroyed and I was left in the middle of the road bruised and bewildered whilst he drove off at speed.  He got 6 points and a hefty fine for that little stunt.

London's current black cabsI’m also amazed at how lots of them still try to “surf the blue wave” of our blue light call . . . ie speed up in front of our run to gain as much distance as they can – and then have the audacity to wave us on, like they’re doing us a favour.  Cheeky sods.

So, on the whole, I’m not overly fond on black cabbies that much.  But . . . Continue reading

Will it take long do you think?

“”No one holds your hand tighter than someone trying to hold onto their life”

I seem to recall these being the cheesy words of wisdom used somewhere in a trailer/advert for the overtly hysterical, typically gun-ho yet rather unsuccessful USA tv drama series “Trauma“.

What a croc-o’-shite!  As I sat there having my hand slowly crushed into diamond proportions by the superhuman strength of the patient laid beside me, I couldn’t help but think these words being further from the truth. Continue reading