A really bad day at the office

The girl stood in front of our patient in the hall way and stared, hypnotised as we did our job.  She must have been about sixteen.  Clutching at her legs were two other children aged possibly between four and six.  They too were staring – mouths agape, as only young ones do.  I caught the girl’s eye and tried to smile.

“You might want to take those kids away into another room my dear . . . they shouldn’t be seeing this eh”

Our patient lay sprawled out on their back, in a tight council flat hall way.  He was in cardiac arrest after suffering an asthma attack.  He was only nine years old. Continue reading

“Penis stuck in plastic container”

Yes.  You did read that correctly.

Marvin and I were practically on top of the address when we got “pinged” down this job on our [tippy title=”MDT” URL=””] “Mobile Data Terminal”. Sounds like it should be something mega technical but it isn’t.  It’s the on board computer screen that keeps us updated with our jobs.  It keeps track of all our times too.  This is important for keeping ORCON and keeping the government happy. [/tippy].  It took us barely a second to recognise the address as being the one right next to us.  And, realising that we could (and probably would) be cancelled off this, due to it’s “non life threatening status”, we decided to bomb it round there as quickly as possible and press ourselves “red at scene” (can’t be cancelled).  I mean, how could you turn down an opportunity to deal with this! Continue reading

I’m not going to Hospital

I’ve often said that when a person is dead or drastically ill, it’s blatantly obvious.  However, as always, there are exceptions.

Marvin and I were called to a 97 year old lady with abdo pain.  When we walked in the on-call carers looked concerned.

“I don’t think she’s got a pulse you know” Continue reading

One Under

When a job comes down as “One Under” it means that someone has either fallen or jumped under a moving train.  This tends to happen on the London Underground system more often than it does on the overground.  Sometimes the patient can be alive with no injuries (amazingly), sometimes they can have multiple and massive ones.  And sometimes they can be just plain proper dead . . . Continue reading

RVP

I attended my first ‘RVP’ a while back.  That means we ‘assisted’ the police in a raid.  And even though we were ultimately not required and saw absolutely no action, I did find it exciting.

The job doesn’t come down as much.  It simply requests for you to ‘RVP’ at a certain police station.  Once there you sit in on the briefing and then leave, en masse, to whatever it is that’s happening.

Our briefing wasn’t quite as I imagined it to be . . . Continue reading

Only in London

I’d say there are two types of ‘surreal’.  Large, blatant surreal and gentle surreal.  This entry was gentle surreal.

On an extremely busy city center street, a homeless paranoid schizophrenic patient sits outside a packed MacDonalds.  His back leans against the glass front window, his head rests inches away from the feet of customers scoffing away at their lunch time MacMeals. Continue reading