A twenty two year old having a stroke is highly unlikely . . . but not impossible I imagine.
However, forgive me for not feeling a surge of adrenaline when the job came down as “Red 2. CVA. Weak, numb, head pain”. So, I brushed off the thousands of pistachio nut casings from my lap into the drivers well, put on my seat belt and sped off toward the job. Continue reading
I like cats. So does my wife. In fact she really likes cats. So much so, there’s not a day goes past when I’m not asked to get one. Of course, all the while we’re in London we won’t, so to lighten the impending bout of sadness that ensues after saying ‘no’ I always try and lighten the conversation with a cat joke . . . like, “how do you make a cat go woof?”. Sometimes though, I just don’t think my wife has a sense of humour!
Which is why this next entry is of great interest. It involves a cat . . . well, a kitten really. And a sense of humour. This was not my job but someone else’s. The person told me about this for my blog a few years ago and it happened a while before then. The only reason I’ve not put it up so far is because my wife forbade me to do so – due to it’s graphic content and outcome. So, please read on – but remember, I am merely relaying the events through the medium of “artistic writing”. Make your own mind up on the ethics side of things!
“It really hurts”
The young teenager cried and looked sorry for herself. She’d been attacked in the street by some older lads – they’d repeatedly struck her with scaffold padding and she’d inevitably held up her arms in defence. Now, back at her home she was complaining of immense pain in one of her forearms. There were no obvious signs of a break and she had good movement in her hand and arm. However, feeling sorry for the poor girl I uttered my next suggestion without first considering it’s inevitably disastrous consequences . . .
“Would you like me to put your arm in a sling?”
Again, I appear to have left it a long while before writing another blog.
I think I’ll just concede to the fact that entries will be sporadic and a bit like the buses . . . you wait for ages then three all come at once.
Apologies for the delay . . . here’s a simple one and more will follow – honest!
Binder
“You can feel it going . . . go on, have a feel” She said through streaming tears and gritted teeth.
I placed my hand on her tiny stomach and sure enough, I could feel it . . .
BZZZZZZZZ – BZZZZZZZZ – BZZZZZZZZ – BZZZZZZZZ – BZZZZZZZZ
“Wow!” I said, genuinely impressed. I looked back up at our patient and smiled . . . not that this helped in any way. You see, our patient had managed to get a vibrator stuck up in her rectum – and it was switched on at full speed.
I’ve never had a guest entry written on this blog before. And quite honestly, I never thought I would either. However, I’m warming to the idea as several people have, in the past, mentioned it. And, after meeting up with Ella Shaw(who writes the “other” paramenace blog, tryingmypatients.co.uk) and being allowed to write one on their blog it only seemed fair trade to allow the same.
We both gave each other a vague theme to cover and for my blog I gave the vague theme of humour. Disastrous humour. I read this last night and burst out laughing . . . as these things – well, you just can’t make them up.
Now, read on . . . with thanks and courtesy to Ella Shaw from www.tryingmypatients.co.uk
“84 year old male, chest pain, dementia”
It was student season. For 4-5 weeks the paramedic university students were chucked out from the comfort of their lecture rooms to the unforgiving shift patterns of their respective mentors. It is during this time they hone their skills and learn how to take a patient history, diagnose conditions and talk to people. Of course, always under the watchful eyes of one of us! I remember being chucked into the deep end all those years ago. Staring blankly at an expectant patient and not having a clue what to say, there were so many awkward silences! It’s just part of the learning process.
